Does your company really care?

 So, as we close off the working week of Mental Health Awareness Week 2025, I'm going to put it out there. Whilst' s it's great to raise awareness and genuinely look out for people, I question a lot of the people and organisations jumping on this for positive PR and marketing. Not all, some, before you all get defensive. If you mean it, and actually action it for no publicity, then good on you. But many sadly, don't have that motivation. It feels very fake to me. Certainly some that I have worked with, or for, or that I know of. Lets be real, they don't really mean it, do they? They don't care, and actually, I'm OK with that concept. Just stop pretending.

They are trying to establish their business as the benchmark of 'caring'. Let's cut the crap, some of the same organisations are making waves of redundancies having treated people appallingly and silencing them with NDA's. Small short term pay offs that abuse peoples desperation and personal pressures in order for the business to protect its image. Some of the sycophantic language really makes me want to throw up, when I know how that company or person has acted 1st hand. To me, it's like those social media Muppet's videoing themselves to show 'kindness'. Here you go homeless person, here is some money, which gets me likes, despite it being humiliating for you. Just do it! The ARK. I do, and some of my dearest friends do. But we do it for humanity not for online desperation for popularity at the expense of someone else's pride and dignity.

How much priority do you place on completing a reference request? Having been in senior roles and owning companies, I was responsible for and managed many people. To this day I still get asked for references and I always get them done within 48 hours. I always thought it was a top priority because people could be depending on that for a job, I did many in my spare time whilst watching TV in the evening. I also sadly had to let people go and this one person go for gross misconduct, I had no other option but a week later I got a reference request, I did it and was completely honest with no personal opinion. That person has a family and needed a job and I hoped they learned from their mistake.

Over the last year as we bounce back from personal difficulties, I have been doing some part time work after a spell of balancing work and being a carer. Several people said it was OK, as I feel like I was always a good colleague and employee, always tried my best, innovative, tenacious, caring of colleagues and worked with complete integrity. But I was told I couldn't start my latest part time job because they haven't had responses for the referees. I guess I find that a bit of a kick in the stomach when I consider how I've always tried to help people. This is compounded when you see this platform littered with posts about caring about peoples well being and mental health. It could make you question the motive of such sycophantic language versus the reality.

I even wanted to volunteer for a charity that helps prevent young peoples suicide and shockingly, after being offered that role in November last year, 6 months later I have been unable to do one minutes service as they cannot get a response from the referees. Let that sink in. I guess I can only effect my own actions. This was said to me recently during a period of frustration. It is so true. I get that some maybe overwhelmed with many requests and your not obliged to do it. But, I cannot just create bosses that never existed, so there is no where to go. I would ask you to think about being out of work, and consider how you would feel. It's 20 minutes and personally, I don't care about how busy I am, I will always do them and as a priority.

Over the last 18 months my self belief and confidence took a real battering. I've always been proud to come from a difficult background to then achieve some great things both in Business and Sport. But, life isn't easy and like for many, in came the big axe to take a huge chunk out of us. We lost it all, we had to start again. But suddenly my phone stopped ringing. All the people that I thought were friends, disappeared, I felt totally deserted. I reached middle age, I applied for jobs and every rejection hit me hard. But I kept going. Someone who could light up a room, supremely confident, suddenly, I was weak and vulnerable. I applied for 225 jobs. I'm certain that I was rejected for the vast majority using AI. I answered everything about me honestly. I even had to answer what my parents job level was... I mean what has that got to do with anything? I really started to doubt the candidate profiling and this meant I was increasingly less likely to get back into the roles I felt I belonged. Both in Business and in Sport. The modern application process on digital platforms is draining. Some take 3-8 hours. Only for you to not even get a reply, at best you get the automated message which I believe is AI generated in many cases. Its so demoralising. Every single one took another small chunk out of my self belief and confidence. I wondered what it was, I was told that some middle management feared my calibre in an increasingly troubled industry, what If I came in and were better than them? I was over qualified. Was it because my wife was sick? Maybe its because I spoke up? I spoke up in the commercial world. But I didn't like how a topic around racism was handled. I spoke about it and ended up out of the business. I spoke up about Child welfare in professional football and ended up pushed out of football. Yet these are the topics organisations all say they are addressing? They encourage speaking up? History tells us that huge topics like this have been brushed under the carpet...Or maybe I am just not as good as I thought? Maybe I'm just crap? This is the stuff that went through my mind. I got another business opportunity recently. I thought I would go for that. I got interviewed 7 times, led down a false path, sold a dream, including interviews abroad with directors, only to then discover that there was never a job in the first place. I will say more about this separately. But it really is the last straw. I'm done. I'm not wasting my time anymore. Ill take charge of my own destiny from here on in thanks. Plus it means I'm free to speak openly. Which I intend to do.

Time for a new life. I've been teaching, I love it. I still love coaching and I'm doing that back in schools and colleges. I am also cracking on in a completely new industry, with a new business in catering. Its so exciting and I can be in charge of my own destiny and juggle caring. I will also continue with my podcasting.

If you have a story like mine, I would love to hear from you and to join me on a future podcast.

Thank you to all those doing real great work around Mental Health and do it for legitimate purpose.

#wellbeing #reference #job #management #mentalhealthawarenessweek2025